Lyme Sucks

I don’t know if I’ve told you this before, but I have Lyme.

Oh, maybe I have and it slipped my mind, that would be typical. I may have written a past post announcing it (minus the trumpet) to “get it off my chest” or just let you know where I’m at. But, these days, it’s really bothering me.  Read on (or skip to the next, likely more exciting blog)!

And while we’re on the subject of blogs, please forgive my lack of being fancy. I chose my blog style years ago because it was the second one that came up (and the first one looked even more amateurish). I am not of the spend time embellishing or make my blog look pretty kind. do admire the enthusiasm of those who can.

Sorry guys, you’re stuck with boring blog-ery today!

And fonts, let’s chat about those shall we? I know I’m making mistakes (and not caring to correct them) so if you have poor eyesight, you might like my style. I am one to use the TITLE fonts for no other reason than they’re right there and easy.

Let’s skip to the real reason for today’s post.

My LYME disease IS PISSING ME OFF.

I am back from NYC after a week, my loved one had surgery and is doing very well, thank you; however, I feel like a colony of bugs are crawling on my back. Everyday. I’ve finally unpacked and somehow finished laundry (for three), and each and every task leaves me tired. I need some killer concoction, like someone to develop an anti-lyme, energy infused, super cell power drink.  I know a lot of people who could use that!

Do you?

Well, if you don’t have lyme or know anyone who does, you are bored about three paragraphs ago. I’m sorry. I usually don’t write here but I don’t know what else to do! Four antibiotics haven’t worked. I should say the first one did and for one month I felt marvelous, like I hadn’t since my twenties or teens. I mean I walked two miles every morning before 8:00 a.m. which anyone who knows me is a feat to be awake, let alone dressed and walking! But…then….boom, it was followed by three that failed. Even the same one, two weeks afterwards.

Sigh.

I’ve taken some special bark (yes bark in capsule form) from South America. Noooot worrking. I’ve tried a lot of the recommended herbs and try to cook with them (HA, the key word: cooking) but so far, to no avail.  Next up, IV antibiotics and that is coming once my loved one has recovered from surgery.  We have another month or so for that. I am “Nurse Wendy” for now on duty 24/7. (Private nursing is costly, I’m hired at home for free!) Stress, ah, that is another blog. Isn’t illness stressful?

So I’m researching lyme, what can I do, going on-line to poke around and there it is. Incidentally, in case you’re wondering where I’m at, I am not early stage lyme unfortunately. (If “wish” and “lyme” had to be used in the same sentence, that would be it.) And while no doctor has said the words “Wendy, you have late stage, a.k.a. Chronic Lyme” I fit late stage lyme. If you have it and it affects your joints and memory and gives you Bell’s Palsy, you know what it is.  And it is a beast. The more I read about it, the more hopeless I feel.

Until today. Well, sort of, it was a bittersweet website I landed on. Nothing under the sun prepared me for what I read.

“Most of the long-term effects and conditions are neurological or nervous system related and are not able to be cured at this time.”

-NSI Stemcell.com

GULP!

I suppose nothing prepares you for reading what you have has no cure. BUT, then I felt a glimmer of hope, a glimmer. While it doesn’t help anyone at this present moment, myself included, with symptoms, a cure, at this second. IT WILL! And maybe when we’ve earned enough money and they’ve developed the technology – because we know insurance won’t cover it – just maybe we can be candidates and reverse some of the damage it has done to our bodies.

Stem cells…hmm….far out. And they’re hopeful! Well this has lightened my gloom a bit and I hope yours. Did I mention my smile is symmetrical again? Oh, the Bell’s Palsy comes and goes. (My mom swears she can hardly notice. I think she is being nice, a mom you know, though it has been behaving lately.)

(Gosh, I’m gonna hate this post on my time-line. I’m one giant whiner today!)

SORRY y’all. (I only went to college in Virginia, but “y’all” can surface at the oddest times, like today. Oh, i know what it is. I’m missing a college roommate reunion in Richmond. Got it. You know it all comes from somewhere!)

Peace out & have a good day. Support your Lymey loved ones. If you have it, I feel ya peeps, I do.

And remember, there IS hope despite my dreary disposition. It may not feel like it, but this stem cell has me excited. It could be decades before it’s available to you and me, and affordable, but I’ll stand in line. Well, when I feel up to it. I might have to ask you for help.

Peace out!   #Limey

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Hellooo

Well, it has been probably a year since I’ve blogged here, or anywhere for that matter. The short version is I went through six months of depression, one month of ECT, received a late stage lyme diagnosis and had heart complications over the summer. Things got better, but worse again (lyme) and I think I have a title for my next book:  “I’ve been Lymed”.  What do you think?  So now I’ve got the physical and the mental illness and it feels swell.

Sorry to bore you. I did have one fantastic month, July, where the antibiotic was kicking ass and I felt better than I had in probably two or so decades. It was glorious! I woke up at 6:00 or 7:00 am, after a perfect 8 hours, and walked 1.5 to 2 miles. I’d get a bunch of work done with the clearest head since I don’t know when. Thankfully, I worked hard because I applied for grants and got one. That is how I am now out of medical debt. Hallelujah! Now, if I could pay off the cars, the house and the credit cards, well that would be a miracle of epic proportions.

In the meantime, all the mental health holidays have whizzed by without any mention from me. It’s okay, right? I’m busy writing a book, a blog for BPHope and Huff Post and really trying to focus on DinerGirl.  My mom thinks I’m afraid of it because I’m a perfectionist. Well…I’m sure that’s part of it, but it’s a nightmare.  When I wrote INCJB, I had an intense, writer/editor boot camp style so once I had my first 150, the skeleton (with some meat on it), once I had that, it flowed nicely to finish in several months. The second book was a collaboration. So this one, this one will be a bear. Plus, I started it right before Hurr Sandy decided to level our area and office turned in to recovery and hotel bed and then 2nd book contract came. Do you see where I’m going with this? It’s hard to keep enthusiasm going for an Achilles heel type of book. I hope I get motivated again, and soon, because that is the book I must finish before I attack the others.

And I really want to write again…I’m not feeling the editing. Maybe I’ll divide my day so I can.

Anyhoo, aren’t you thrilled you tuned in? I’m so boring these days. My big excitement is that I started yoga again. *(Thank you, Groupon.)  I wasn’t in love with being six inches from all neighbors, or the Madonna infused soundtrack (what happened to calm music?) or the shouting teacher, but I kept saying ‘this class only cost $3.90.’ Again, thank you, Groupon. You rock. And so, I can try another place when I’m done. Damn Sandy literally blew through and out my favorite yoga studio in Sea Bright. (Even the post office never came back.) There’s finally some clothing store there but not Bhrama Yoga. I’m terribly sad and really noticing it now when I am trying to find a replacement.

Ah well, you can’t have it all. Right?  I’ll settle for good mental health…until winter comes. For now you better believe I’ve got my light box on!!!!!  🙂